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  • Writer's pictureLeng Zie

Mother Wound

The unknown pain that carried by a mother and inherited by her children

The unknown pain that carried by a mother and inherited by her children
mother wound

For most people, mothers are nurturers but our relationships with them may have been complex and one that also carry wound and pain.


According to Mother Wound expert Bethany Webster, 'The Mother Wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms to process that pain."


It can be defined as a mother not being emotionally attuned and available to her child. She may have been present physically but emotionally absent. It’s not about what she does but how she provides love and energetic presence that makes whatever the child get nourishing. Without it, it may lead to mental health and relationship struggles in later life.


The pain from mother wound manifest:

  • feeling not good enough & unclear sense of self

  • allow/ accept poor treatment from others.

  • feeling competitive with other women

  • feeling you must remain small in order to be loved.

  • lack of emotional awareness

  • self-sabotage


It’s important that we understand how much our mothers have gone through that we realize that no mother can be perfect, no matter how hard they try. Often when facing the pain of mother wound is very difficult, but at the same time, it can helps to bring you awareness of what you are going through and find your healing path to free you from the pain you are likely to carry.


Healing the Mother Wound starts within ourselves, first. When we make peace with our mothers, we make peace with ourselves and use this knowledge to generate forgiveness.


Healing the mother wound is not easy but it’s possible. Here are some recommended ways:


  • examining the mother-daughter relationship and acknoledge that the fact that our mothers was unable to build our self-image in a positive way is not your fault.

  • transform limiting beliefs from what the society/mother expect and create a new relationship with yourself

  • allow yourself to grieve and mourn losses about what you wanted in the relationship with your mom but never have

  • offering your family and yourself forgiveness will help with the healing and release the rage.

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